Bring it on, bitches!

So, we're walking down the street today, minding our own business, doing our own business, when our rival gang starts barking at us. No problem, we think. They always bark (they're like us when we're inside or on the deck--they bark at EVERYTHING that moves). We got this handled, we think. We're tough, we outnumber them, we're bigger than they are, and we're PUGS, dammit! Besides, Mom's there to protect us. Then, all of a sudden, they're running down the hill. On the STREET side of the fence. Waaaaaat? Dachsunds outside the fence? Without a leash? Waaaaaaaaaaaat? Their owners weren't in sight. Mom shortens our leashes and has the brilliant (NOT!) idea that she'll just pick them up (ya, right, like we're going to let her pick up two other dogs while we have to walk--dachshunds no less!) and take them home. As we get closer, the bitches (they're girls like us, so we can call them that) start barking louder. We ignore them. Well, not really. We don't bark, but we do start pulling Mom towards their yard. Then, out of nowhere, the big one flies off the curb and lunges at us. Waaaaaaaaaaaaat? With her teeth bared. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Bitch! Then Mom sees their Mom who is surprised they're on the street side of the fence. More bitchy barking. The smaller one starts to retreat. That's right, bitch, run away--she knows we'll take her on. Besides, we have the best defense--we'll have Emma SIT on her! Bitch. So, their Mom and Dad round the corner to come rescue their bitchy butts, when they decide to put on a show. To prove how tough (NOT!) they really are. So, the big one lunges at Emma again, almost biting her face off. Now, of course, Emma is an expert at biting off faces (after the incident which shall not be mentioned lest Pooka try to return the favor). So even though Mom THINKS the leash is locked, Emma lunges back at the bitch. That's right. Watch out, bitch! Thankfully for the bitch her Mom scooped her up before Emma could lock onto her face (Emma was just confused as to how to do it, since the bitch has such a long nose and we're not used to noses, at least to grab on to). They get their sorry bitchy butts carried away, while getting yelled out. Ha! But, before they go inside, we give them the LOOK, and let it be known...It is ON. It is SOOOO ON, BITCHES! We'll be waiting for you...

What is college?

Mom says Jenna went to college. We're not sure what that means. We have some ideas, though.
- Sounds like cauliflower. That sounds yummy. I'd eat that.
- It starts with the same three letters as 'colt'. I bet it's a horse. I hate horses.
- You two are idiots. If she "went" there, how could you eat it or how could it be a horse?
- I know. It sounds like collard as in collard greens. I'd eat that.
- It kind of sounds like collage. Maybe it's a group of horses. I hate horses.
- I think I'd like college. I might be a defect dog, but I am smarter than people think. I'd take a philosophy class.
- Classes? Do they have classes about food? I'd take a class in food. Especially if I got to eat everything.
- I wouldn't take an art class. I bet all the girls would draw horses. I hate horses.
- I don't think I'd do my homework, though. Just think. And socialize. I'm good at that.
- Maybe there's a class in different kinds of animal droppings. They're yummy. I eat those.
- I wouldn't take a vet class either. I wouldn't want to work with other dogs. Or cats. Or rabbits. Especially not horses. I hate horses.
- You two are idiots. I'd also take a class in deviant behavior. Because, well, I don't like to do what I'm told.
- I know. I'd take geology because that has rocks and I like to eat rocks.
- Do you think Jenna had to ride a horse to get there? I hope not. I hate horses.
- Maybe when we go for a ride in the car, Mom will take us to visit Jenna.
- I hope so. I miss Jenna.
- Me, too. I miss Jenna, too.
- Me, too. I miss Jenna, too.

We love you, Jenna. We hope you're having fun at college, where ever and whatever that is...I could eat and let you know...I bet it's some kind of horse. I hate horses...You two are idiots...